Your Adult Child.
Have you ever been with an adult child that throws tantrums and behaves like a child?
Most of us know people in our lives that are just fine when they are having their way and things are going along fine. But what happens when things don’t turn out their way they get all stressed up about something?
They behave like a spoilt four-year-old. You know who I mean. Maybe personally and intimately. They become what all children are, needy and self-centred with little thought of you or your needs. I am not against kids by the way.
So what is happening when this happens and what can you do about it?
The first thing to realise is that they would be unable to operate in this mode if the people around them did not tolerate it and allow it to continue. The problem is most of these bullies do surround themselves with people who will let them behave in this way. It is a symbiotic relationship that both parties benefit from this. The adult child gets what they want, and the victims get what they need.
The second point to note is that both parties are operating from subconscious programs that they may be unaware of. The adult child is running unconscious programs that are very effective at getting them what they want, and the victim of the child's tantrums is not mature enough to take action necessary to prevent or stop the child's attacks. You know what happens if you let a kid get away with it they will do it again.
These people have what psychologists call a personality disorder and become emotional vampires draining you of your emotional life. They are not severe enough to have a medical problem we usually call them difficult people and they will often use the excuse” that's the way I am” “ I can’t help it” I had a difficult childhood” or some other reason for lack of personal growth and maturity.
What can you do about it?
Remember these people have reverted at an unconscious level to the programs they used as a four-year-old and one of the ways that you can spoil their tantrums is to treat them in the same way as if a child did this to you.
Keeping lectures and excuses to a minimum.
Rewarding good behaviour.
Ignoring bad behaviour.
Giving them time out.
The problem is going to be that you or other people in the group have allowed this person to behave like this for some time. It may take time for the changes to take effect and there is going to be a lot of work necessary for the changes to take place and without personal insight from the adult child, they may not. They have a beneficial way to get what they want. Why should they change?
If it is boss or someone else who you feel you can not walk away from them the situation can seem more challenging to deal with, and this is where you may have to mature and grow up in this area of your life. Work stress is a big problem, and you may have to be mature your self and own up to the fact that you have to learn how to handle it or get another job.
We have effective therapy and personal development training to help you do this.
One of the best ways to work on your self is to use the “Big Four” A set of compelling self-hypnosis recordings designed to remove some significant issues that every adult on the planet has running at a subconscious level of mind you might also want to call me and discuss your current situation.